WTFUMF = Water To Feed Us Mentally & Physically
Yes. Water. Simply water. WATER. Water. Water.
We’re blessed to have water that’s fresh and clean. Well, its really not that clean but its better than the rest of the world, so we should be grateful for that and take measures to clean the water we have the best we can. Hydration is key. I’m not preaching to anyone particularly but myself as while taking a serious look into my health and making sure these next 57ish days are focused on my ongoing wellness. Wellness with water will wow Willy’s weirdness while wetting his whistle?
You know what, countdowns aren’t going to work here – deadline driven works for me but that’s not my point and there’s some serious things going on that might just take time to heal before moving forward – so instead, I measure where I’m at right now in May 2013. I take a look back when its the 4th of July. Who can’t remember the 4th of July? When I think of the 4th of July, this song certainly comes to mind…
Anyway – yes, clearly ADD is rampant this morning and while nursing my own body and mind towards improved homeostasis. the first area for focusing is really simple, water. It’s … hey – BRB getting some water. Really. OK. Water obtained. 1.3.3. DRINK!
There was this one point where I’d drink so much water that I’d start putting salt in my water but that’s not now.
As evil doesn’t deserve name recognition on my blog, from now on I reference the darkness that is evil as ‘Calming Ward’. Because, I’ll know what it means.
Nothing’s felt the same since being violated for the third time by a human resources employee relations professional representing the corporation I also represent. I resent said misrepresentation perpetrated by said unprofessional behaviors experienced and find the situational appropriateness and timing to be exceptionally shitfilled. My last experience was one which seemed to roll viciously forward into the dark depths of hell, when a mere shred of human dignity, like a sip of clean water to a drying man (fuck you, eat my pun) I recognize that even my own ability to care for myself at a basic level began falling apart, and basics like water can become first to fix priorities.
I’ve been beyond railroaded since experiencing that pretexting bullshit on the 26th, both physically and mentally, after baring every last shred of resource to keep my shit together. That mental fist raping was a bloodbathed carnivorous lobotomy from a worthless piece of shit mind butcher valuing its objectives over anyone’s health. It really was sick. Need to learn to drop that evil energy, its so not fitting well.
Following the worst disrespect I’ve perhaps ever dealt with in my entire existence (and sorry for anyone reading this who’s gone through worse mind fuckery, its not a contest and I send you love, care, respect and admiration for your strength – its never cool). Pretexting my medicated brain to manipulate data to complete some weird investigation check boxing, vs. actually handling an immediately critical and increasingly worsening inappropriately handled and continuously abandoned violation of serious rights situations was something that nobody protected within the walls of a fine corporation should have had to endure once, let alone repeated times. I’m so sad about whatever change happened to me and hope that I’m back to being happy Darren vs. scorned Darren or whatever the fuck this (Calming Ward) shredded my already beaten and worn into submission past the point of mortal recovery mind, as her evil seemed to leak in. Evil piece of shit cunt. How the word calming can be within the nastiest creature I’ve encountered so far, is simple irony. I fucking hate irony.
I’ve met evil before. I’d not recognized it at first, but when I finally understood what it really was, it allowed me to be more in tune for future needs. I’ve learned to tune that away. There’s something that just hits at my deepest core of self-respect that this piece of shit violated. I’m not 100% sure what the fuck it is or why I’m so fucking angry or even using the word fuck more than ever before, while I can literally feel the pained look in my face that I don’t at all recognize. What. The. Fuck?
First, suspecting I must have kicked a dog in a former life for this shitstain to shake me. Then realizing its tie to an even stinkier piece of worthless shit, it really comes into focus. Sadly, I can’t trust myself to risk taking any mind numbing benzodiazepines or any type of medication with that type of mental risk lingering. I’m definitely willing to risk physical health to keep my guard up against ever being potentially mind-raped by any part of this evil fucking shit again.
Seriously sorry for anyone bugged by my words here – its not my intent – in fact, I know deep inside even in my weirdest funk that I’d not want to hurt others – what I’m doing is trying to get some of this shit out to protect myself.
Its tainting my brain beyond strain and fear rain it may make me insane I want to regain what horses may reign where street sign says main and no purpose is vain try taking that train even stumbled by cane try teaching the devil the fucking mundane tears frequencies lane to undo the pain of the cause that we train must feature unlogic for clogs to undrain then all the mad creatures learn to retain.
OK so back on track. Today I’ll begin daily awareness exercises to make sure I’m upping my water intake by at least 50/oz/day/min and also going to work on some greater combinational ergonomic multi functional movement madness machining. Enough words, taking action. My mind hurts. Back later.
Weirdly, I don’t feel like finishing with F word but might just be tired
It’s been challenging to sleep, following meeting “Calming Ward”, but then again who said pure fucking evil wasn’t hard to shake, so dear fucking devil cunt, go sit on ice as it probably melts you like that wicked witch of the West, appropriately enough. Hell’s too warm a place for a soul dark as yours, damned calming ward!
And fuck – absolutely not awesome but its fucking back again. Later